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Recently added to Fun 
iron necessity
In the course of history, men come to see that iron necessity is neither iron nor necessary.
For the woman, the man is a means: the end is always the child.
I would not know what the spirit of a philosopher might wish more to be than a good dancer.
bad memory
The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time.
good memory
One must have a good memory to be able to keep the promises one makes.
In heaven all the interesting people are missing.
Always forgive your enemies...
Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them so much.
Question
Rarely is the question asked: is our children learning.
Never try
You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'.
Scarce...
What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce.
I was married...
I was married by a judge - I should have asked for a jury.
Girls
Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere.
I like to wake up...
I like to wake up each morning felling a new man.
A lobster boat
If you work on a lobster boat, sneaking up behind someone and pinching him is probably a joke that gets old real fast.